Masculinity is where I finally feel like my body is home. Growing up, I used to study women's magazines and make-up and clothing guides, feeling like something was missing, something I couldn't understand. It wasn't until I came to a butch identity when I was about 20 that I finally started playing with fashion and appearance in a way that felt comfortable, let alone celebratory. Finally, my body made sense in the clothes I wore. Finally, I felt visible—like I was, for the first time, really me. It took me at least another five years to feel comfortable in that butch identity. Reconciling my own feminist values was hard for me, at first—I was plagued by the question, "What is masculinity without misogyny?" And building my own answer to that question has been a serious quest. Now, 15+ years later, I spend more time thinking about the privileges I receive because of my masculinity, rather than the challenges of whether or not I'm masculine or how to be masculine. Finding this home in this gender has been one of the most liberational parts of my process.